You can't make me!
by LadyNightRunner
Summary: Chaos as an entirely offcharacter lover of Christmas. Unfortunetly for him, Vincent is NOT a Christmas person. Oh, the horror! Let's see how far they get into the Spirit of the Season!


Here we are, another Christmas ficcy. This one is predominately involving Chaos as an entirely off-character lover of Christmas. Unfortunetly, Vincent is NOT a Christmas person. Oh, the horror! Let's see how far they get into the Spirit of the Season!_

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_C'mon Valentine, it's almost Christmas! Live a little!_ Chaos said.

Vincent ignored him.

_Is that a no I hear? Shall I do my very best to get you in the spirit?_

Again, Vincent made no response.

_You asked for it. _With this warning, Chaos broke into a loud and over-exaggerated rendition of Deck the Halls.

"Chaos…"

_Deeeeeeck the Halls with boughs of Hooooolllllly! _

"_Chaos._" Vincent warned, putting his book down.

_Falalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaa!_

"CHAOS!"

_Yes? _Chaos asked innocently.

"Please stop."

_Why?_

"Because you're driving me crazy."

_You were crazy before I started singing. _

"Stop. Now."

_Nuh-uh. What're ya gonna do to me, huh? Pull a gun on yourself?_

"Don't tempt me." Vincent grumbled. He allowed his hand to drift over to the gun lying beside him and ran his fingers over the barrel, hoping Chaos would get the message and hush. No such luck.

_Come _on_! Where's your holiday spirit?_

"I believe it used to inhabit the space _you_ now take up. In which case, it would seem that I no longer possess it."

_Which also means that I get to be your holiday spirit! _Chaos cheered. Vincent caught the rather disturbing mental image of Chaos in an elf suit.

"No Chaos, it means that I don't _have_ it. Translate that as…**not interested**."

_Spoilsport._

"Thank you. Now leave me alone so I can read." Vincent picked his book up again.

_You've read that book several times before._

"So?"

_Several…read as nearly a dozen._

"I repeat my earlier inquiry."

_It wasn't that great the first time._

"So you think. The problem is, you just don't have any taste in literature. This book is excellent."

_I do too have taste in literature!_

"Please. Cheap adventure/romance novels are hardly worthy of being classified as literature."

_ARE TOO!_

"Are not. Admit it."

_No. _

"Fine." Vincent flipped the book open to his bookmark and returned to reading. Chaos sighed.

_You're hopeless. What do you have against Christmas?_

"I have nothing against it. I just choose not to celebrate."

_Bah humbug._

"Mmhm."

/Later/ Finished reading for the moment, Vincent left his room to wander the halls. It was remarkably quiet, which meant that either Yuffie wasn't onboard at the moment, or she was lying in wait. He was careful to check around corners as he made his way to the common room. Thankfully, there were no exuberant ninja's sneaking around, and he made it safely to his destination.

In the common room, Cloud was wrapped in a tangle of lights and fighting to keep an enormous pine tree upright. His eyes lit up when he saw Vincent.

"Vincent! Can you give me a hand? Or two?"

_Yay! Decorating! _Chaos cheered.

"I'm coming." Vincent sighed. He crouched down and straightened the base of the tree, then inspected Cloud. "_How_ did you manage _this_?"

"Tree wrestling. It's supposed to be a surprise, so I don't have any help from the girls. Would you mind?" Vincent found the free end of the string of lights and began carefully unwinding it.

When Cloud was free, Vincent intended to make a quick getaway before he could be roped into helping. No such luck.

"Can you help me with this? I'm too…er…short…to…um…reach." Cloud fidgeted and looked thoroughly embarrassed, so Vincent helped. He helped a_ lot_. After carefully winding lights around the entire tree, he placed ornaments on the upper half, then was given a box of impossibly tangled Christmas lights, a stack of small wreaths, a pile of garland, and a box of who-knew-what and set to work. Absently, he retreated mostly into himself, allowing Chaos almost-but-not-quite control of his body. The demon was delighted, and attacked the pile eagerly.

Two hours, a hammer, picture nails, a ladder, a spool of wire, three smacked fingers, and some inventive profanity later…

"Chaos, do I _want_ to know how you got so good at this?" Vincent asked, inspecting the hallways. Chaos had outlined most of the doors with lights, and the lights extended along the floors, staying against the wall. Up near the ceiling, arcs of silver and red garland glittered, punctuated by wreaths or a carefully tied bunch of holly.

_I'm just talented. _Chaos purred. Vincent shook his head and retreated to the kitchen, which had been his original destination. His search for a snack yielded gingerbread cookies and a choice of milk or eggnog. Ignoring Chaos's requests for eggnog (which would have been earsplitting if they'd had any real volume), he poured a glass of milk and eyed the cookies. He didn't really want to eat anything that smiled at him while he did so, which meant his choices were limited to bells, candy canes, and trees. He selected a pair of trees that weren't smothered in icing and sprinkles, and made his way back to his room, being careful to avoid Cloud.

/Back in his room/ Vincent had picked up his book again, this time choosing to curl up in the armchair Cid had brought in. Chaos, by now fully awake and bursting with energy, did his best to keep a running conversation.

_So…what do you have against Christmas?_

"I don't."

_If you didn't, you wouldn't be fighting me._

"Chaos, I have nothing _against_ it. I just don't like everything that comes _with_ it."

_Like? _Chaos prodded.

"The noise, the crowds, the eggnog, and the obligation to attend the Christmas parties the others host or invite me to."

_I seem to recall you being relatively content about…three Christmas's ago. Which makes no sense, because you had the flu._

"And I was left alone, to enjoy peace and quiet. It was nice."

_Only you would be _happy_ about being sick. _Chaos grumbled. Vincent ignored him.

"I let you have your way for the better part of two hours. The least you can do now is let me enjoy my afternoon in peace."

_Oh, alright. Spoilsport._


End file.
